If you're like me, you tend to dwell on things that should just be forgotten. Oops. But luckily I've received a reality check that has gotten me back to the "Old Hannah."
And I promise this will be my only post about heartbreak. Yuck, I know. But everyone could benefit from this, because I know there are some other "dwellers" out there.
My cousin came to visit me at school this weekend. We used to be inseparable before high school, but we went our separate ways and eventually found each other again recently. I learned a lot about her just from those three days—she has a great boyfriend (who was willing to drive three hours after her eight phone calls and fifteen text messages at 2 am: a definite keeper), she had to go through a lot of rough spots to get where she is today, and she can give some pretty damn good advice.
I hadn’t gotten any advice like this before—I guess it was more special because it was coming from someone so important to me, so completely honest and uncensored. She could see the hurt in my eyes, feel the pain I was hiding, and understand everything I was thinking. I was heartbroken, but I won’t go into any more details than that. For once, I felt as though I wasn’t being judged for how I was feeling or why I was upset. We sat in bed talking for three hours that night, and those three hours brought us closer than the twelve years of childhood we had together.
She told me about how she was heartbroken before, and how she felt exactly how I felt, so utterly defeated, used, and devastated. Relief sank in with every grueling detail she added to her past, knowing that if she made it through this than I can too.
But then when her stories came to an end, she said something that really stuck with me: it upset her to see me like this because she knew I was never the girl to let a boy bring me down. I used to get up and move on from rejection, like it was nothing. I used to know that if it didn’t work out, it just meant there was something better for me coming next. But now I’m this girl, almost dwelling on something that just isn’t, and letting this dominate my life. I needed to be reminded that I am still that girl; the one she knows she’s really special and important, the one who knows if the guy doesn’t realize it, it’s time to find the one who does.
Luckily, she gave me a reality check. She told me that I am this wonderful, beautiful, smart, passionate person that anyone would be lucky to have. I have a great family, a good head on my shoulders, and a bright future. And if this boy doesn’t want me, then fine. You are wasting your time on a person who is blind to what you can offer, and will just miss out on such a great girl. I needed to be strong and move on, because in reality, it’s his loss.
She then told me how she’s so happy with her current boyfriend, how he loves her and knows how special she is. She doesn’t ever think about the boy who broke her heart, which is something she never would’ve thought could happen at the time. On top of all of this, she told me about how that boy texted her after he saw she was in a relationship, five years later. He wanted to know if it was serious—because he finally realized how great of a girl she was, and wanted to be with her.
She looked at me and smiled, telling me how great it was to tell the boy who broke her heart that she was over him and not interested at all. She told him she finally found the guy who wasn’t blinded to what she could offer; he knew she was wonderful, beautiful, smart, and passionate. It was too late for him to get her back; he had lost her chance with her forever.
Not only did I reestablish my relationship with her, but I got some of the best advice in a long time. I guess you can say I’m back to my old self—I know what I have and who deserves it.
This boy who broke my heart shouldn’t deserve any more of my time. I’m waiting for the next thing life throws at me, knowing I can expect greater things from here. I just can’t wait to get that text from him, telling me he knows he missed out on such a great girl.
Because the only reply he’s going to get is, “Sorry, but you’re too late.”
preach it girl.
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